Monday, September 10, 2012

The blog that gives me life

I wear my heart on my sleeve and living through these high and lows has really impacted me, flooding my system with unimaginable emotions. This past month I was hit with a bad cold, that quickly became a bad lung infection. For several days I couldn't sit on my couch doing nothing and still i was short of breath. After changing some meds around, I quickly felt better, but after lung function tests, my lungs are at 21%. On top of that I have been battling constant abdominal pain. Yesterday I surrendered to the hospital, for some much needed pain relief. Today, CF has become all to real for me. Today I met with Orlando's lung transplant doctor, and was told now is the time to start the lung transplant evaluation. I knew this day would come, I wished is was 5-10 yrs from now these talks would start, but the time is now. It's staring me in the face, and what I see in the future months and how I feel I can't put into words. I know I need to strictly focus my efforts on me for a change.

I am not sure what tomorrow will bring, but what I do know is that I have the entire support of my friends and family. It has been extremely hard for me to realize that its very possible that I may not be here for the two people that are my reasons for living, the two people that have given me the greatest 10 yrs of my life. My amazing wife, best friend, soulmate Michele, and the little man that has changed the meanings of so many things in my life Casey.

From the moment I first met Michele, 11 years ago, I knew immediately she was the love of my life. Her beauty, intelligence, how she always had a goal in life, and her loyalty to her family and career amazed me. Michele was the type of girl I was always to afraid to ask out. It was during the ambulance corps installation night we danced together for the first time, and during that dance, I was so nervous, but it felt so perfect, after that dance everyone said Kevin you two look like you were made for each other. It took a few more days to gain the courage to call Michele and asked her if she would like to join me and hit a few buckets of golf balls at the enclosed driving range. After that afternoon, things just began to fall into place, but of course CF had to get involved. I became very sick and hospitalized several times during the first months we started dating. I was scared she would break up with me once she learned how serious CF is. I have been dumped before because of CF, but Michele didn't run, she stayed next to my hospital bed, everyday then, and everyday now. I was even more nervous when I asked Michele's parents if I could marry their daughter. I have always known CF eventually would get the best of me, and so did Michele's parents. They knew how much she loved me, and they told me how loyal she would be to me. Like they said, she has been amazing, and really what has kept me going these last 11 yrs.
It has not been a fairy tale life, we had our highs and lows, but my love for Michele has always grown stronger over time. I said then, and still do today everything I can to take care of Michele.

Like I said, I loved Michele immediately because she was so goal driven. We married each other with the hopes of starting a family, we also understood with my health sooner would be better then later. If I was going to become a father, I wanted to get as many years with our baby as possible. Things didn't happen as planned, health reasons on both sides, plus several failed IVF's it delayed our time table. Adoption was really our last shot, and knowing that CF could delay or end our final chance to have a child. I was very unsure about the idea of adopting, plus I didn't know how we would pay for it. Some how Michele knew; she knew someone would pick us, and she knew we would come up with the costs. Less then a month after filing the paperwork, Michele got the call that again would change our lives, and again bring us closer together. In two months, I went from being difficult about the whole idea to holding this little blond hair, blue eyed boy, my son Casey Daniel Przybyl. These 3 years have flown by, but have been the best days of my life, I love my family so much. It's all because of the greatest women in the world, a women that no matter what happens to me she will be by my side, and always their for Casey. Tomorrow is another day, a day that will have ups and downs, but it will end and Michele will be who holds this family together and strong. I love you both more and more ever second passes. If the worst does come, I will always be at Michele and Casey's side.

I am not sure what's next but I will do everything I possibly can to love, laugh, breathe, and live happily ever after with the loves of my life Michele and Casey.

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