Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2013 will decide my future

Another year has come fast, and honestly I am not prepared for what will happen or may happen in 2013. My health being on the front burners and will be all year. I believe this year will be do or die for me. My disease has come to the fork in the road, will I get my lung transplant or will I become to sick for surgery and potentially slowly fade away in a hospital bed, like many CF patients I have known over the years. The whole process has been grueling to say the least, not only on me physically, and mentally, but on my family, especially my wife. Not enough credit can be given to her, because she is what is my drive to stay alive. She also is the quarterback of the team, making critical decisions though out this part of my life. Pre, during surgery, and post surgery decisions are all made by her. A roll i knew she could handle, i just wish it was later on in our lives, but its not. CF has shown its evil face, and despite 33 yrs of fighting the batlle, it is beginning to show the signs of how it's winning the war on my body. Each new test, shows how slowly and damaging Cystic Fibrosis is, and no matter how compliant and careful I have been, it didn't totally keep the disease from causing a lot of internal problems that may not be able to be repaired. My overall role continues to be very painful, but easy. My wife Michele has the hardest job of managing my post transplant care, which is months long and 24/7. She will still maintain her job, as she is the main bread winner of the family, and she must also play both roles as a parent and homemaker. Again, my job is easy in comparison, and every day I realize more and more how awesome and amazing she is. If this surgery happens and I am given this new lease on life, it will be spent taking care of her as much as I can for the rest of my life. I know what she has to see and what the disease is doing to me physically and mentally. I am changed from this experience but from what i hear about other CF patients going through similar situations. It has been very difficult to see people do well and see people die, because right now, i am one of those people, and it tears me up wondering which statistic will I be when it's done.

There still remains several days at mayo for testing and hopefully in a month or two, I will know more and if I will get listed at the mayo.

As for fishing, it really is on hold. Now I do have a few charters scheduled and will be doing my best to make them happen. Fishing is very hard for me right now, because I am on oxygen full time. Anywhere I go I need my oxygen tanks, even taking a shower takes time and a lot of energy, so you can image the physical strength needed to hook up a boat and launch it into the water. There are days I literally have not energy or desire to even shower, because the poor oxygenation of blood in my body just wears you down. This has been the hardest think to grasp for me. My entire life has been go go go, a infection here and there with a few weeks of being sick...and I would be good to go for I am on iv antibiotics going on 4 months straight. It's frustrating because I love fishing, and I love what I have accomplished with this business. I beat the odds, and took more crap from older local captains over the years, but despite their hate, I prospered and made great friends and memories doing it. Oh, yeah, The business name, website, trademarks...all protected for a very long time, long enough that my son will be able to do with it as he pleases. (sorry this really is to spite my haters)..What I miss, all the people I have met. I am trying my hardest to continue taking out those that have returned to fish with me year after year. It's never been about making big money or having the biggest baddest truck or boat, it's about touching the people that love the sport but love sharing it with a loved one, son, daughter, mother, father, husband, and/or wife. That's what's important, and hopefully God will allow me to continue my work here, so I can show my son the true meaning of life, and what really is important.

So to everyone checking out my site. Email me, tell me when your looking to fish, and I will give you honest answers about the fishing, and my health. As usually I take no deposits, and if something happens that will not allow me to do the charter, I will give you plenty of notice and hopefully guide you to someone that can help you . I will also be giving updates on the transplant as they happen so stay tuned.

1 comment:

  1. Hello, my name is Paulina. I live in Poland and I'm 21 years old.
    I suffer from Cystic Fibrosis. Four years ago I had a lung transplant. Feel
    You on my blog. Please stay the observer. I greet you cordially.